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Autism and Mental Health – From A Personal Perspective: an article by our Ambassador Paul Isaacs

 

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Autism and mental often go hand it hand, one could say that it is because of being human that sometimes our nervous reactions in a certain way to our environment this could be so but also hereditary factors can persist also.

At primary school everything was fragmented, and language was distorted- the phonics that came from other people’s mouths was both intriguing and enveloped me to point it which I was trauma so my response to this was dissociate from my surroundings in in the form of both derealisation and depersonalisation.

Exposure Anxiety developed in mid infancy before I gained functional speech and created a compulsive diversion and retaliation responses because my nervous system to being “self-ware” was triggered – this persisted into later infancy when functional speech came and the threads of interpretive language felt “foreign” so I would go into bouts of mutism, echolalic litanies, self-chatter and singing to oneself. 

During late infancy and pre-teens, I developed obsessive-compulsive disorder which was in effect and reflection about faux control of my external surroundings this meant the complex rituals included washing my hands a certain number of times this logic with this perceived madness that if I done this my day at school would go fine.

During my early twenties I had two personality disorders – schziotypal and borderline along with psychosis, and auditory hallucinations this was induced by years of bullying and I was in crisis for around six months. What I have learnt about all my experiences currently is some were created, made and to do with environment I sought forgiveness and acceptance of what had happened to in me in the early part of my life and thanking the people (however toxic the behaviour) for bestowing it on me – the communication was clear on what they thought not only of me put also sharing with me through their trauma about themselves.

The currency for understanding oneself is of equal value to attempt understand others. This can bring about an objective, autonomous framework and healthy space in mind and body to continue to grow.

Paul Isaacs 2021 

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